Reflections

So my lovely coach you asked me to do a piece on reflection, I was meant to do it last time but got side-tracked by happiness, so here is the piece I was meant to do!

I really find this a difficult thing to do, oh I can look back and say I was this grey, shadow, see-through person having lost myself years ago, that isn’t that hard bit.  The hard bit is saying how far I’ve come to this point in time, it’s like, I’ve done nothing special to get here, only done what you said, followed the things I love to do, that’s no biggy is it?  So then, if that’s true, why the fucking hell haven’t I done it already?  What has been the difference this time?  The want was there, the wishing and the trying…………

It is the accountability, the group of fantastic, awesome women I now associate with who make me feel just as invincible and awesome as they all are. I’ve watched them grow, step by step they have taken themselves on a journey and are now achieving their dreams.  Sometimes it’s overwhelming, the things I want to do but I know it’s all possible, I may not reach them by the time I’ve finished my personal coaching but I know I can do it, I just need to push myself out of the comfort zones, yes that’s scary but not life threatening, just uncomfortable but it’s knowing that uncomfortable is great, because you’re stretching yourself to new heights of awesomeness.  Something I thought I did before but I really didn’t, I backed off when things got uncomfortable and kidded myself that I’d tried, really pushed it.  Going to Florence made me realise what really going out of your comfort zone means, I’m not sure that I would feel much happier going abroad on my own again now but at least I know I CAN do it if I need/want to and that it isn’t as bad as I thought it was (especially if you go first/business class).  I also now have a measure of how it feels to be out of my comfort zone and equally how good it is when you discover you can do it.

It’s also the mind-set, would I have ever thought I could make a business out of what I love to do, would I have ever built a website, blogged, video, live video, consider I was worthy of having a proper life full of happiness? No, is the answer and nor would I have ever contemplated encouraging someone else to look at what they are doing and consider doing something for themselves and I’ve been doing that too, no I don’t want to be a coach but it’s fun to watch people suddenly do something for themselves and realise some of their dreams. I now do all these things on a daily basis, with true happiness (plus a few frustrated swear words here and there).

I look at people differently 4 months on and yes I will be culling my FB friend list because there are people on there that I haven’t connected with for a long time and I now have new, motivating, inspiring women to move forward with thanks to my coach and her FB groups.  I also intend to have my own FB group of women who want to indulge themselves in creativity, plus I really fancy a long weekend of creativity and indulgence (thinking, massage and champers here ladies) so definitely going to be looking into workshops for next year, if not sooner. I have so many ideas, they are hard to contain so now the only problem I have is trying not to get carried away and get overwhelmed, funny how one thought leads to another and another……….

I could go on forever telling you about the wonderful realisations and how far I’ve come but I’m too bloody busy JFDI so for now you are just going to have to watch this space! I’m so excited and happy I could burst!